Do you ever?

Do you ever wonder about your life's purpose? Lately, I find my self pondering this question deeply. How one evolves or arrives to the current state of their being is beyond me. I think back on my teen/early adult years and often recoil in horror AND admiration at my actions. To be young like that is really to be fearless. Being an only child afforded me with a jump on adulthood. I thought I really knew EVERYthing. Boy was I wrong.

Getting married at age 29 was quite interesting. I only thought I knew what marriage was really about. Again, boy was I wrong. Thank the Lord Anthony is a patient, PATIENT man.

Becoming a mother at 30 (a hair off 31) completely changed my perspective on life and the world in general. I cannot begin to explain, nor could I, the profound changes in our lives all because of one little bundle of joy. Who teaches one about parenting? You would think your own parents. And I'm not saying I didn't mimic some of their style but in reality you come up with YOUR own way of doing things. God help Blakely. ;) And boy, I know I've made some mistakes and again thank the Lord for a patient, PATIENT child.

Leaving the comforts of a cushy State job after 17 and 1/2 year to become a teacher was a bold step. I really thought teaching was my "purpose". Honestly, the jury is still out on that one.

Leaving that teaching job after 3 1/2 years was surprisingly difficult as well. But my husband made it much, much easier on me. I miss being "in charge" of a classroom but is that what teaching is really about? I don't think so.

Starting graduate school at ASU has been an eye opener. I really feel that I am supposed to get my Master's in English. The question remains am I supposed to teach after that and if not, then what the heck? Honestly, I am drawn to law school like a moth to a flame. I would so love to defend the indefensible but just don't understand the "reasoning" behind this thought.

I pour out all of these on my blog because I'm feeling the need to assert the statement: I am not perfect and I do NOT have all the answers.

I cannot explain why bad things happen to good people. I cannot explain why some choose the lighted path while others choose the darkened one. I cannot explain why some people are so close-minded while others are very open. I cannot explain basically good versus evil. But what I can explain is that no matter what only YOU are responsible for YOU. Each day you just have to get up, strap on your armor, head out, and hopefully make a positive impact on the world. Some days you succeed, some days you fail. Life goes on with or without you. How's that for an ego buster?

So blog readers...good luck on each and everyday of your lives. No matter what kind of day shows up in your world, remember you are not alone. Later.......