The Answer is Blowin' in the Wind

Let me start out by saying that I had the week from H***! I wouldn't know even where to start on any explanation as to why. I am trying to see the silver lining in this old black cloud but it's a little hard to pick out. The events of this past week did however force me to make a decision that I have been mulling over for a while. I signed my letter of intent to return to LA for the 2009-10 school year last month. I withdrew my letter of intent on Friday. I will not return as a teacher to Lee in the fall. My better half actually wanted me to hand in my 2 weeks notice but that would not be fair to Mr. Billy, my teacher friends, and my kids. But it was tempting I have to admit.
There will probably be lots of speculation as to why or what happened. Speculation is just going to be that..speculation. I do not feel like sharing at this time. I may not ever feel like it. What I will share is it was one of the hardest decisions for me to make. I really like teaching. I may not be good at it but I really do enjoy the teenagers. That being said....I may pursue employment with other schools or I may return to school myself to obtain my Master's. Or I may just take some time off and not worry about it until I have to. Anthony would prefer me to stay home. I appreciate the fact that we can afford for me to stay home. Most cropduster's wives I know don't work. I am just a worker, though. I cannot remember when I haven't worked. I am nervous and excited, but mostly nervous. I am going to do my best through my contract in May then I am going to sit down, relax, and regroup. It took a lot of guts for me to quit my nice paycheck with benefits and retirement after 17years with the State of Arkansas 4 years ago. I know that at 41 I can weather this storm too. I know deep down this is the right decision. Wish me luck! Later........